Harvestey

It's Harvest Weekend!

Every year my aunt and uncle throw a big party to celebrate harvest and new oil.  I'll write more on that later, but for now, a taste of what's been happening around here this week...

 

SadNaughtySexy

I have over 1300 emails in my inbox right now.

Ever since Gmail advertised to me that I'd never have to delete a message again, I almost haven't. 

While the sheer number is a little astounding, the breadth of emails have proven quite an interesting exercise in self-awareness and examination over the last few weeks as I've been trying to whittle the total down.  I go to the oldest emails on the last page of the inbox and apply the handy little label and archive most of them.  Some of them I do delete, and it is quite satisfying to delete a bunch at once.

This system has hiccups though when I run across ones that I can't decide how to label, or ones I don't want out of the in-box, from some compulsive fear  I can't really specify.  Namely ones from Brendan - how on earth can I archive those?  They are proof of his existence, mostly brief and sporadic and often funny thoughts passed through the internet that are infinitely more poignant because of his absense.

The other inner conflict I have regarding my filing arises when I come across messages that I don't really want to label and archive because it's not deleting -  which would signify a decision not to delete, which means I've made the decision to keep.  In particular messages between old loves/lovers and me.  (I forgot how filthy and creative I can be when someone makes me feel comfortable enough to take the filter off.)  I've almost convinced myself that keeping these messages is more a way of preserving my past rather than remembering what inspired such straightforward expressions of desire and love.

Favorite Marriage Proposal So Far...

Nathan:    wanna marry me?

 me:    sure do

 Nathan:    beautiful

 well get out to chicago

  i know a real nice courthouse

 me:    reeeeeeeeeeeal nice

 Nathan:    can we get married to zeppelin IV?

  me:    hell why not

  we're gonna have the tallest most awesome babies ever

 Nathan:    when you walk down the isle we'll play "been a long time been a long time been a long lonely lonely lonely time"

  me:    perfect

  do courthouses have aisles?

  Nathan:    our babies'll probly be midgets

  me:    ha!

  but they will wanna rock

  Nathan:    yes

  just like mom and dad

me:    exacto

 Nathan:    courthouses are perfect

  we can prance around and noone will car

  e

 me:    for our wedding? definitely

  then we can have a party at the farm

 Nathan:    !

 me:    yup

 Nathan:    country courthouse and a bluegrass shakedown

me:    yes

  i'm gonna put a bow on your dog

 Nathan:    my dog is with the ex

 me:    oh NO

 Nathan:    bummed

 me:    honey

  sweetie

  love

  i'm sorry

i'll still marry you

 Nathan:    we'll get our own dog

 me:    i'll just put a bow on you

 Nathan:    a bull mastiff

 me:    ha

  that'll eat our midget children

 Nathan:    yes... we'll name her thor

 me:    of course they could put a saddle on it and they could ride it around

  oh thor

  sweet puppy

Nathan:    thor! stop looking at the children like that and eat yer alpo

 me:    poor thing gets hungry, midget children are like tasty nuggets

tasty nuggets who wanna rock NOT get eaten by thor

  i loved the songs you sent me

Nathan:    thanks

 me:    welcome

 Nathan:    come over and we'll listen to my scratchy copy of stairway

 me:    sweet

  and drink whiskey

 Nathan:    it's really good

  yes

 me:    i'll bet it is

 Nathan:    whisky

  but only if we feel irish

 me:    we do

 Nathan:    i always do

 me:    me too

  bye husband

 i have to go play with oil

 Nathan:    i have to go re start stairway

 me:    yeah you do

 Nathan:    have a good afternoon

 me:    you too

 Nathan:    <3

 me:    oh honey

  xoxoxoxoxox

you should write me a song then i can tattoo your lyrics on the inside of my left arm

  i've got the perfect place picked out

  <3 Nathan:    sure

WTF

My ex and I haven't spoken for more than a year, on purpose by my choice, and we have very few mutual friends at this point (he burned a lot of bridges on his way out).  Other than a couple blurbs through the grapevine and one drunken and curious episode where night I looked at his family's photos on facebook, I haven't thought about him much.  However, twice in the last two weeks I have dreamed about him, both dreams them involving him, his wife, and their baby son. 

The most weird scene of both of them was when in one, I was in charge of holding the baby when a whole bunch of family was around (I'm pretty sure it was his, hers, and some weird combination of my family).  I adored this child, thought it was the most cherubic thing ever.

From both dreams, I woke up feeling weirdly neutral.  I've written before about how powerful dreams can be, but not in this case.  I just felt really curious.  If anybody has any theories as to why I would have these dreams or what they mean, I would love to hear it.  Seriously.

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A delicious video from my favorite...


http://www.alwaysneverhome.com/