To-Do List

11 Things Every Minnesotan Should Try in 2011.

Now everyone come visit me so we can check some of these puppies off this list.

White Stuff

It snowed again.  I have lost count of how many times it has snowed since the first snow, back in November, the one that kept me in the suburbs for an extra night and made me realize I needed new tires before I did anything else. 

It's really pretty again, as the new snow has covered up the dark gray mucky slush stuff that everything was transformed into.  I put on my galoshes to run the trash out today and didn't lose feeling in my fingers during the 30 seconds it took to complete the task, so that means it's not quite as cold as it was two weeks ago.

Last week was the first time I woke up and thought, "Ok, this is getting a little wearisome."  It's still ok, I'm still fine, I'm just more excited to see colors again in a few months than I am for the snow.  And they'll come; tomorrow is February, a short month, then in March we get the official start of spring.  The colors and warmth will inevitable come, the blooms, the late light, the heat, then in 7 months I'll be writing about how the humidity is getting wearisome and that I'm getting excited to be bundled up and trudging through white stuff.

Be Still My Autumn Heart

 

I heart the Midwest in the autumn...

(Photo of tree in Madison, WI, taken from my aunt and uncles front yard.)

Aprimay

OMG!

Hi EndOfApril!  I so did not expect to see you here so soon!

If I would have known you were coming, I would have finished so much more shit on my to-do list/cleaned my winter weary cobweb riddled windows/shaved my legs.  (That last one's a stretch but I try to go all out for guests, even if they're unexpected and temporary.)

Since you really surprised me this time (no, really, it is ok, really, seriously... seriously it's fine...  It will be fine...) I didn't get groceries/meet deadlines/practice choir/call anyone back that I was supposed to.  But you know I can pull a party out of nowhere so let's get shakin'.  Would saltines and cheap vodka and ginger ale be ok?  What's that?  You're on a no-carb diet?  Is that a crack on my gaining weight instead of losing it before my best friends' wedding in a month and a half that I haven't finished planning the bachelorette party for yet?  (Ok.  You're going to have to lay off, I told you this is a surprise visit.)  No?  Well my apologies, it's just that's what I have leftover from my little nausea episode last week.

No, no, no chance it was morning sickness.  Thanks for asking I guess, you're the 3rd person so I guess I still seem like I might be having fun/getting some action/being irresponsible.

Seriously, you don't have to go.  What's that?  May is on his way?!?!?!?  Well f#*@.  You can't just stay a little longer instead, make him wait a little?  Fine.  No, it's fine.  Have a nice year I guess.  I'll see you again in threehundredwhatever days.  (What now?  If I knew the exact amount of days maybe you wouldn't be a surprise?  You know what, no need to get snarky.  Here, have a saltine for the road.)

Tired Heart

We say goodnight and he catches me off guard when he says, "Think about what you said about your heart...  That doesn't sound like you."
I was so tired but thought I had enough bravado in me when I slipped earlier in the conversation and said something about the state of my heart.  "I've given too much of my heart.  Now my heart's tired."  I said thinking we could casually move past that as it wasn't something I considered much before I said it out loud and now that it was out loud I realized I didn't want to dwell.
It doesn't sound like me, he's right.  But I am tired.  My heart is tired, a little hopeful, a little sad, confused, and pulled in many a direction.
Spring is here.  Change, and new hope, will be her gifts. 

Ex.Haust.Ed.

I just realized I have published all of one post in December.

This is mostly due to the fact that we do something ridiculous like 30% of our business between harvest (early November) and Christmas (usually 12/25).  I still can't help but feel a little lax in my blog-writing and like anybody who is interested and kind enough to look over it every once in a while has lost interest by now. 

I promise I'll be back and better than ever.  I am contemplating switching to Tumblr, mostly because they have many more background options for non-code educated people like me, but if I do you'll be the first to know. 

Until next time I'll leave you with this tidbit.  I woke up today to the sound of a lemon juicer (a humming mechanical noise plus a "THUMP" every few seconds), Mexican ranchero Christmas music, and what sounded like about 7 or 8 roosters but was really just the standard two.  This is all in all pretty standard for December on the farm.

After arising to said cacophony of noises, working twelve some hours, realizing Christmas is in less than 10 days, and realized I hadn't published any blogs in weeks, I find myself here now getting ready to do it all again tomorrow, only with what appears to be a much rainier day at hand.

Hopefully roosters will be kind and let it get just a smidgen lighter before their greeting.

Happy Fall-ing

Is this smell of new crisp air, of change, of time moving and getting colder, is this something just I smell?  Is it possible that others feel this intoxicating mix of nostalgia, melancholy, and joy all at once?

I love this season.  Until this year I have always felt torn - What IS my favorite time of year?  June and July always had a lot of clout - my birthday, no school, playing outside (in shorts) til much later, popsicles...  But there was something about fall even though its the beginning of a school year and the gateway to some bitter cold Midwestern months.  It was a tight race between early summer and mid fall , but I'm ready to declare a winner.  Yes, folks, autumn has my heart.  Recent events took June down more than a few notches, but I think it really has more to do with how well I know myself now versus when I was 12 (when I first consciously considered this question), and in that self-awareness, giving my instincts the weight they merit.

In northern California we don't get the brilliant crisp autumn rainbow that is so much part of these months in the Midwest, and this year I realized that it is not from the leaves crunching or the color of the trees that I draw my happiness in this season.  Here we get more fog, cooler temperatures, and rain, and yet I every day I am finding myself happy just to be able to feel this shift, to feel the melancholy AND the joy.  The renewed wetness doesn't bring me down because I have never been bothered by the rain.  I find it peaceful to fall asleep and wake up to the sound of raindrops, and figure it's a good excuse to invest in some galoshes that make me feel like I'm 7 again. 

This autumn brought me a sense of relief, from what I cannot say.  I still have the same questions, doubts, sadnesses, and insecurities I had two months ago.  Today they seem more manageable, and I am happy to see the rain and smell the woodsmoke and put an extra layer on. 

So here's to autumn.  Let's raise a glass (of cider! or hot chocolate! or brandy!) and give thanks.

Hello October.

Here you are again.  Just like you are every year, right after September.  Why is it you seemed to arrive so much more quickly this time around?  Are you going to hurry along like the last few months have?

Cold nights and rain beat you by a couple weeks this year.  Will you retaliate with more cold and more rain, or will you give us some last days of warmth and sun that we've become used to and will miss if they don't arrive?

You brought with you good moods and laughter, which might be necessary as you also heralded in closer deadlines and more to do.  If we can laugh and smile as we do what we have to, though, we will be able to thrive in our busy-ness not just get through it.

So, welcome.  Stay a while if you could.  We know the next few months get all the glory but I say let's show them what it's like to enjoy a month just because we want to, not because the calender gives us a few days off.