30 October 2009


I have over 1300 emails in my inbox right now.

Ever since Gmail advertised to me that I'd never have to delete a message again, I almost haven't. 

While the sheer number is a little astounding, the breadth of emails have proven quite an interesting exercise in self-awareness and examination over the last few weeks as I've been trying to whittle the total down.  I go to the oldest emails on the last page of the inbox and apply the handy little label and archive most of them.  Some of them I do delete, and it is quite satisfying to delete a bunch at once.

This system has hiccups though when I run across ones that I can't decide how to label, or ones I don't want out of the in-box, from some compulsive fear  I can't really specify.  Namely ones from Brendan - how on earth can I archive those?  They are proof of his existence, mostly brief and sporadic and often funny thoughts passed through the internet that are infinitely more poignant because of his absense.

The other inner conflict I have regarding my filing arises when I come across messages that I don't really want to label and archive because it's not deleting -  which would signify a decision not to delete, which means I've made the decision to keep.  In particular messages between old loves/lovers and me.  (I forgot how filthy and creative I can be when someone makes me feel comfortable enough to take the filter off.)  I've almost convinced myself that keeping these messages is more a way of preserving my past rather than remembering what inspired such straightforward expressions of desire and love.

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