When I was in Kansas City over a weekend a little while back with a big chunk of my huge extended and adopted family, I spent most of the first day and night laughing at things coming out of my cousin Annie's mouth.
Although I am easily entertained and still find fart jokes pretty funny, this night also included at some point our youngest uncle deciding, since we were raiding his liquor cabinet anyway, to just set up a whole whiskey tasting extravaganza for about seven of us ranging from ages 19-30.
Absinthe however after about 5 'tastes' of different whiskeys is something I won't mind not repeating but boy did I feel good.
Annie is almost exactly six years younger than me and we grew up about a mile apart, and since I remember her being born AND worked as her 'nanny' for about a summer and half when I was in high school, I feel totally justified in claiming responsibility for 'basically raising her'. I coined that phrase over these last holidays during one of the first times we were in a bar legally together and I walked in and announced to her that "Mommy's gonna get drunk tonight" after which I proceeded to drink liquor at an exceedingly fast pace, cheered on by Annie, my sister, and a group of friends, until I found myself (along with everyone else) leaving Annie at the bar and going home to lock myself in the bathroom wondering why a tweezers wouldn't hold my hair up on my head, while Annie continued to drink bad tequila in my parents kitchen with a friend of ours.
Since that night, and since I told her parents that story complete with me claiming rearing responsibility and they found it hilarious, I try to work "I basically raised you" into almost any conversation I have with Annie.
I was railing on her about something that I was not proud of her for, like, having to leave Kansas City too early, or, maybe, not drinking something I wanted her to (frankly, I have no recollection what it was but those are two good guesses) and I said, "You are no child of mine!" to which she responded, and I know because I took this down word for word,
"You cannot just toss me and claim me at your will! I will not be that for you!"
Now, I understand this might very well be one of those you-had-to-be-there moments. However, just imagine how Annie, every time I say I may have had something to do with bringing her up, basically rolls her eyes and maybe squeezes out a chuckle for my sake. So for her to react with such endearing passion just about made me wanna weep, but I was too busy holding my pee in from laughing too hard.
Caitlin & Annie, 1990ish. Shortly before the jagerbombs.