Someone who I respect and admire immensely sent me a message a few weeks ago, and it made so much sense I wanted to share. I hope she doesn't mind. She is an adopted member of my family, a beautiful, funny, kind woman, and a ridiculously talented writer.
She wrote, in response to something I had written about an ex-boyfriends drunken insights,
"... it's very hard to find men confident and
self-assured enough to be one half of a
relationship with a very strong woman.
(Probably because they've all been improperly
socialized, but I digress.) Do as I do and say to
men, "I'm a lot of woman" up front and if they
cower, even ever so slightly, bat them away
with a short flick of your wrist."
This is one of the best pieces of advice I have ever received in my life, and rings so true because doing that (flicking them away with my wrist, that is) has always proved to be a challenge for me. Which is probably why I have a history of being involved with men that while good intentioned (for the most part), quite frankly were not up to the challenge that is being in a relationship with me.
Let me just repeat: "...say to men, "I'm a lot of woman" up front and if they cower, even ever so slightly, bat them away with a short flick of your wrist."
This rings so true I wanted to forward it to every women I have ever know that has dated someone that fell far short of standards she would have held for anyone a girlfriend was dating (and our numbers are many). I will start with posting it here and in the meantime I'll see if I can convince her to publish an advice guide.
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I totally agree. I also like to let them know that I could totally knock them out....then it's easy to tell the men from the boys. I have always lived by 2 basic rules for love.
ReplyDelete1. I have a three strikes and you're history rule. There are things that are automatic 3 strikes (like cheating, hitting, name calling, etc.), but I think 3 dumb-ass moves and you are pretty much done.
2. If they aren't making your life better, then they are making it worse. The end. Kick 'em to the curb.
We as women must start believing that we deserve better. So many women settle for much less than they are worth. I have always believed that men (people in general for that matter) will do whatever (or treat you however) they think/know they can get away with.