Someone who I respect and admire immensely sent me a message a few weeks ago, and it made so much sense I wanted to share. I hope she doesn't mind. She is an adopted member of my family, a beautiful, funny, kind woman, and a ridiculously talented writer.
She wrote, in response to something I had written about an ex-boyfriends drunken insights,
"... it's very hard to find men confident and
self-assured enough to be one half of a
relationship with a very strong woman.
(Probably because they've all been improperly
socialized, but I digress.) Do as I do and say to
men, "I'm a lot of woman" up front and if they
cower, even ever so slightly, bat them away
with a short flick of your wrist."
This is one of the best pieces of advice I have ever received in my life, and rings so true because doing that (flicking them away with my wrist, that is) has always proved to be a challenge for me. Which is probably why I have a history of being involved with men that while good intentioned (for the most part), quite frankly were not up to the challenge that is being in a relationship with me.
Let me just repeat: "...say to men, "I'm a lot of woman" up front and if they cower, even ever so slightly, bat them away with a short flick of your wrist."
This rings so true I wanted to forward it to every women I have ever know that has dated someone that fell far short of standards she would have held for anyone a girlfriend was dating (and our numbers are many). I will start with posting it here and in the meantime I'll see if I can convince her to publish an advice guide.