22 June 2009

Once Bitten

Trust is such a fickle thing.

What can I possibly write about trust that hasn't been written? The question of whether you DO or DON'T trust somebody is one we've all asked ourselves countless times.

What I struggle with is whether it's possible to trust someone once it's been broken. There are probably as many different ways to trust someone as there are people in this world - that is to say, we all have our own unique rules and qualifications and ways of trusting.

A friend reminded me yesterday of what I have believed to be a simple fact - when trying trying to build a relationship, at a certain point it's necessary to just "let go"... Let doubt and uncertainty and mistrust go. These things will kill a relationship before it even starts.

As I know I have made bad decisions before, I am having a really hard time trusting my own instincts. I worry that they may very well be clouded by attraction, desire, and maybe even loneliness.

I guess the first step for me is to trust myself. If I can be secure following my instincts, then I should be able to just "let go" for someone else.

And if I end up twice bitten? I bet I will have had some fun and maybe even learned something, and therefore will have gained more than lost.


  1. Caitlin, I think part of this is worrying that they might not be as great as you...you know, because you're pretty fucking awesome.

  2. You can't win if you don't get in the game, right? You may get kicked in the teeth 20 times, but that one time you don't, it will be worth it. So, let go and always hope for the best in others, not the worst (even if experience tells us otherwise).

  3. Tommy, that hadn't crossed my mind. But now that I think about it... I would have to be to have you as a friend. Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
    Heidi, I couldn't agree more. That's why we keep coming back to the game right? I say most of the time it's worth even when we do have to collect our teeth - haven't we learned the most about ourselves in growing with or against someone else?