Dear You Know Who You Are,
When you call me more than two years after we broke up, and almost a year since we last spoke or communicated at all, just to say thank you for advice I gave you years ago - YOU'RE NOT JUST CALLING TO SAY THANK YOU. If you were, you wouldn't be blinded to the fact that the only appropriate way to do that between you and me is to send a letter, maybe a greeting card. Something that leaves distance between us. When you call, leave a voicemail, and then call again - you are calling to talk to me. Which, as has been established, is not a good idea. I wish nothing but the best for you, your wife, and your new son. Your mother has shared pictures via Facebook, and you look like a lovely family. I will continue to send you and your wife and son good wishes from afar. This by no means insinuates that it's a good time or idea for us to strike up a friendship. We were never friends, and never will be. Now let it go. Yes, you screwed up, no, I wasn't perfect either. It's ok. You're now living the life you sort of wanted, and I am so happy for you. There is no need to call me to tell me you appreciate advice I gave you 4 years ago. Too many phone calls from you since we broke up have ended in you angrily wondering "why we couldn't have just worked it out" for me to trust that you're really calling with pure intentions. And if I'm being really honest I would admit that the only reason I would talk to you right now is to feel good about the fact that we broke up and that for you, I'm always going to be the one that got away.
I feel wonderful about you being happy, and even more thrilled that it seems you've found some peace and are good where you've settled. Your son deserves a better father than you had, and you have all the potential in the world to be that better father. So don't fuck it up, especially not by thinking about how good I could have been for you.